Not a day goes by that I don't check my phone hysterically from morning 'til night. I love the thing! It's sleek, streamlined, trim, thin, glossy and silky, even.  Whatever you like to call your own phone, there's always that one name that'll always stick with it: the manufacturer's.

Now these names have their...differences. The differences between the companies' naming styles is almost a reflection of society today, in fact. For instance, Sony Ericsson are the Preps of the phone world: Bold colors, bold features. But the names themselves?

W580 and K850 and C70s?  Boring! Next you have the Skaters of cell phones, and I'm sure you can guess who makes these bad boys. That's right, Motorola. Some of Moto's phones include the RAZR (razor), the RIZR (rizzer fo rizzle?), the KRZR (kray-zer), the ROKR (rocker), the Sidekick (obviously a skateboarding maneuver), and my favorite, the PEBL (pebble). You may or may not like these four-letter names, but when I see them one thing comes to mind: A stereotypical skateboarding dude who's texting while skating. Is that even legal?

But Sony Ericsson and Motorola don't have the best euphemisms in my book ? nothing compares to LG. Nothing, actually, degrades - I mean, "challenges" ? my masculinity more than LG's phone names.  Why? How could the "Life's Good" company possibly make me feel like a girly-man amongst my friends? One reason: feminine phone names. Think about it for a moment. You've got the enV, the Glimmer, the Rumor, the Venus, the Serena...err, Shine... and of course, the Chocolate! If you're a guy, imagine being around your friends say, after a movie.

Everyone is calling their girlfriends who they conveniently "forgot" to invite, and you whip out your LG Venus. An immediate response echoes through your group: "Dude! That's a sweet phone man, totally rollin'! What's it called?" The second you respond, "Uh ... Venus," you're no longer one of the guys.

Ladies, you may love your LG phone, as do I. Please, though, do us all a favor. If a man in your life owns an LG or some other cell phone with a less than masculine name, reassure him that he's still a man in your eyes, despite his womanly mobile device.