After the success of the flatulence apps in the iPhone App Store and Android Market, it was bound to happen: soundboards of a less disgusting variety are being developed, published, and are gaining popularity. I'm happy to report that, while equally novel, these new programs deserve a longer shelf-life and prove to be functional at a higher intellectual level and in a wider variety of situations than their eye-roll-inducing predecessors.
Why not spice up your next business meeting with the Governator? "Affirmative, Who's your Daddy?" and the inevitable "I'll be back," are a few of the sixteen Schwarzenegger sound bites that an app called Arnold Sounds puts at your fingertips. Memorize the button locations and you don't even need to look down before launching an Austrian assault from beneath the table. Join the boss and look around with contempt for the cowardly soul who would dare to indulge in such childish antics at this crucial time.
Mr. T Soundboard offers only ten clips. And while less useful for prank phone calls, the Mr. T library annihilates Arnold's board for the purposes of random public hijinks. Lady in the twenty-items-or-less lane trying to get through with fifty? A simple "Get out my way suckah!" blasting from your pocket as you innocently browse the candy bars will show her that at least one person has recognized her infraction.
Farm Animals offers twelve clips. As polished as the app is, I don't think I need to write more about it than I already have. By the time I post this, there will probably be another soundboard available for download. If the Android market follows the same trends as the browser-based boards from a few years back, we're sure to see Joe Pesci, Mike Tyson, Michael Jackson, and perhaps Al Pacino make appearances. Maybe some celebs of more contemporary notoriety will turn up. Bush Button, anyone? Please, just don't.
As a personal request to Android developers, I'd like some samples from the 1976 film, Network. And while the most obvious quote is requisite, there are many others I'd love to have on tap. Also, a George Carlin board would be great. Christopher Walken, Harvey Keitel, and Dennis Hopper as Frank Booth round out my short list.
