Troublesome tellies

With a flick of my finger I can so easily handle everyday tasks on my phone that it makes me wonder just how people once lived without these precious devices. Well, I might have to flick my finger a tad harder on my phone than you do on your fancy iPhone, but you get the idea.

Flicking aside, one must sometimes wonder just how people once lived without cell phones. Society as it is today couldn't possibly function as efficiently as it does without our handsets, that's for sure. Some, however, may feel differently than I do about cell phones. Could we possibly be taking a turn for the worse because of them? Could these handy handhelds really be mobile menaces? There are most definitely times where your portable pal could turn on you.

On first thought, the most evil, sinful thing that could possibly come from a phone exists in one unmistakable feature. Come on now, I know you know it. Think for a second. If you thought, "vibration", then you'd be spot on. Now I don't think I really need to go into detail as to why the vibration feature could be considered downright wicked by some folks - I mean, really, do I? Put yourself in the position of, let's say, a high school student. There's always a ton of things on your mind, what with those raging hormones, or the crush you can't possibly live without. One thing though, particularly shines above all else. It's that one thought that you just can't get out of your mind.  If you don't satisfy its burning desire, you'll wind up losing control.  You really just have to go for it and, of course...check your texts in the middle of class! That's what you had on your mind too, right?

Leaving your phone on vibrate in the middle of class is one of the best (or worst) ways to get yourself sent straight to detention. The buzzing noise of your ruthlessly vibrating phone couldn't possibly be more identifiable. I would imagine even a deaf individual could pick up the slightest "vibe" from your shiny new XYZ1337 TurboTexter. Sure, you could say you had it off, but that doesn't quite cut it anymore from my experiences. Kids, you should just leave that phone on silent, and frantically check for Susie Q or Lenny Krav's texts every second your teacher isn't paying attention!

Cell phones don't only promote the inattentiveness of students, but they're even a means of cheating! These days, a whole test can be comprised of a single, quick text. Lenny texts Susie, "ACDCBADACC", and suddenly Susie is one step closer to leading a life of chicanery. Now, for arguments sake, let's say Susie gets caught and turns her life of crime around. Still, that darned phone is ruining her education. The horrific grammar and appalling spelling skills she picks up from texting Lenny till 3 in the morning will surely lead to her demise when essay season rolls around. Speaking of staying up till 3 chatting it up with your lover boy Lenny, these kids are staying up so late texting when they should be catching some ZZZ's for the next day of action- packed learning.

The parents or grandparents might be laughing right now, but just wait one minute. The Grown-ups are just as guilty as the kids. First of all, you're the ones who let them have that phone at such a young age!  Parents should lay down the law and decide what time is right to let their children be in control of such a troublesome toy.  If you figure the driving age is 16, legal age is 18, and drinking age is 21, that should put the cell phone age to around...25? You got it kids, you're paying for that "the sky is the limit" plan on your own.

Parents, you've got to take a look at yourselves too! I'm sure you haven't been totally honorable with your phone either. You know you've been to one of those meetings or big company conventions, and you're simply bored stiff. You miss the office, the cozy leather seat, the coffee you slowly sip while watching your favorite Phonedog video reviews on the company computer. More so though, you miss the secretary you wish you could text right now instead of having your wife spam you with texts asking when you'll be home, because baby, dinner is as cold as ice.

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